of pigeons & doves


pigeons sitting on a roof, they fidget,
shifting from leg-to-leg, shifty.
avian rats, say New Yorkers.
a bad rap, unfavoured
compared to their dove cousins.

but I prefer these pigeons,
friends of mine, shuffling about,
perched on the apex
of a corrugated iron roof

because who wants, really
to be set permanently
against blue skies?


Big Love Song #74


My love, like the 4,000
aaWho bravely did not die
When the Paris Commune
aaWas destroyed, all lost

But lived in chains
aaOn a despicable ship,
Meant to transport hope
aaWhere it couldn’t return

To an island covered
aaDensely in slender pines:
Dispossessed making way
aaFor the dispossessed

Where love grew gardens,
aaBuilt houses & a town,
Learnt to fish in waters
aaSurrounded by sharks

So survived, mostly
aaUntil pardon was granted:
Nearly all returning again
aaTo red streets of Paris.


Big Love Song #73


In catacombs beneath Paris
aaThere’s beauty of design:
From layering of femur & skull
aaSomething that moves, still.

Those who work among the dead
aaDon’t forget the streets above
Remain alive, want to explain
aaIn precise & adequate words.

Mostly fail, shut in silence
aaThey commune in friendship
With songs of the dead
aaDuring the shades of day
Saving their shining presence
aaaaaaaaaaFor the night.


Saturday morning, 19 March 2011


100, 1000, 10000, more
lives
obliterated

the zucchini plant
grows
lizard like

wind blows
the soft murmur
of
death

late summer
strawberries,
small
&
deformed
still
taste good

100000, 1000000, 10000000, more
lives
in shadow

ripe brown figs
high
up
have
been pecked out
by birds

bits of flesh
& torn skin
rim
an open wound

it aches.


no contest


we eye each other up on the beach,
a stand-off at fifty paces (or
some twenty years): Perk n’ Proud
aaaaaaaversus Slightly Saggy.
I fall back, your round.

we catch each other’s eye again
as I stagger bent & small
carrying four towels, three surfboards,
aaaaaaatwo buckets, & one ball.
your legs stand further apart
like a tripod, surveying the crowd.

we dare to eye each other’s girl.
one wears a bikini, the other
a very practical beach top.
you think you’ve done me again,
but I know I’m in the game.

leaving, we look each other’s way,
as you lower yourself, shirt off,
into the seat of your car
& I wearily climb up into mine.
both proud, a glint of respect.

I think of you once more tonight
after making love, better
than it was twenty years ago.
there’s no pride, no envy,
just maybe the hard firm control
aaaaaaaof wisdom growing.


perspective


for every noteworthy, full blown
person, whose name
bangs into us
from history
there are 29 people
burnt at the stake
in New York
in 1741
blamed
for setting fires
as part of
a “negro plot”.



Published in Side Stream #27, December 2010.


fastfood workers


they burst from the paper bag
running like salt from a shaker
scattering flecks of taste

they gush like soft-drink
push the button & they gurgle & froth
with youthful bubbles over the rim

they burn & sear like burger patties
on the grill, hot anger spits
from their mouths as they yell

they ooze like ice-cream
filling every corner, every gap
compact with cold determination

they have sizzled in the fat
crisp as you like, now they’re
blocking arteries in the street.


Used in the Level 2 NCEA English Exam, 2010.

with the last rub


nocturnal notes
on the night-shift,
change over
at 11.30
reading Baxter —
the anger of
a sympathetic heart
pimped dry.

but anger alone
won’t bleach
walls,
won’t shift
skum, grease
& shit.

hardwork
& time
might see the wall
fresh, or see it
crumble
with the last rub.

I think he knew
that.


Published in Side Stream #24, May 2010.

somewhere else


reading Bukowski puts me in a mood,
one of those sons of bitches.
listening to Isaac Hayes’ first album,
the soul soaked
aaaaaaaaain Bourbon
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagrooves,
takes me
somewhere
else

which means nothing to you, I know.
you’ve been out the front of the house
attaching purple streamers
aaaaaaaaato the fence, because
it’s your mother’s
birthday.
I’ve been lying on the couch
thinking I could be
somewhere
else

the streamers wouldn’t go where you wanted.
“the wind,” you said,
aaaaa“kept blowing them off”.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa— shit like this,
the incongruence of reality
& what we’ve hoped for,
it hits you hard.
you cry everything,
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayour face
turns to plasticine.

I hold you. I don’t say anything.
but I understand
how much it matters.
together
we spin a tight cocoon

& wait to see
what happens.


Published in Poetry New Zealand 40, March 2010.

the olive tree


the olive tree given to us after the war
never looked like the tree of Greek verse
which English poets went looking for.

what sorrows? & how could a tree be
deathless? useful I understand,
to make oil for food, warmth & light.

not until I pruned the lower branches,
the gnarled trunk of the maturing tree
revealed — giving it that classic look;

& room enough to sit in the afternoon
beneath its lacework of silver green,
tasting ten thousand years of memory.


Published in Poetry New Zealand 40, March 2010. 


a right lineage


it’s a noble age
not Shakespeare’s
or Sophocle’s

but we’re weighted
with opportunity
for heroism, bravado
& modesty

putting my children to bed
does not command
the language of ideals
of conflict
& resolution

the lines aren’t tragic
or epic
& don’t go very far

they start where they are
& go no further
than the love that’s there

the hard work of the day
is a contentment
softens anxiety
which is something

& it can be said
in a kind way.


Published in Takahe, April 2010. 

everyday (after Heather Hunt)


I like cups, picking them up & taking
them somewhere. I’m scared of knives.

I like white lilies in a glass vase
with the sun behind them.

I like the grey-topped Formica table
with its red rim.

I like the noise the dishwasher makes
when I open it – doodle doodle loo.

I like condensation on louver windows
that are tinted aqua blue.

I like the rimu cabinet with its latches
that slide like bolts.

I like record covers leaning against
the wall.

I like the vertical bars on the steel gate
at the end of the path.

I like the soccer ball on the green grass.

I like the way washing stacked high
in a basket could be a Christmas tree
(something you showed me).

& I like the way a whole chicken
turned upside down with its bum in the air
looks like a frog,
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaabecause some things
are not just what they are
but something else all together

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalike knives.


Written for the opening of Heather Hunt's painting exhibition 'Everyday'
at Reyburn House, Whangarei, 5 September 2009.

Read by Sam Hunt on Kiwi FM, Lost Weekend, 11 September 2009.

an answer to that question


“you still living in Hikurangi?”

I tell ‘em, “yeah.”

“lovin’ the Liquid Ambar next door,
the red leaves that fall down on us.
the railway track over the fence
aaaaaaaaawhich you can look down both ways
to a vanishing point.
the 4 damn churches. the toi toi in bloom,
with the morning sun shining through like a halo,
blessing us all.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaathe view of town
when you come over the top of King Street
— looking like the wild west. the Hikurangi Hotel
with its dark wood interior, pokie machines
& whale’s dick over the bar.
the Saturday night bands with their names in chalk.
the guy who wears overalls, who crosses the road
at the same place everyday with his two dogs,
who gruffly says hello.
the reggae that blasts from the house 3 up from ours.
the dairy, its cracked blue ceramic tiles
& corner relief of a bull’s head;
the Four Square that sells ready-made
vegetarian curries.
the miner’s cottages & villas; the eastern hills
with chopped down pine, gorse & scrub,
so that it’s not picturesque.
the crossroads 6.7km out of town
in the middle of the swamp, where you can stand
in peace.
the old stone path that gets covered in leaves,
broken glass, cigarette butts & tinnies.
the young scruffies standing outside the Ruraltec
talking about cars, girls & Xbox.
the old primary school, the classrooms in winter
when it’s raining & the heaters are on;
being 7 years old.
the dump & its growing piles
of usable junk, the cheap framed photos on the fence,
the bending of the rules.
the limestone rocks that tourists used to visit.
aaaaaaaaaaa— because there’s room to imagine
being somewhere else.
& our hill, the hill that Ngapuhi forgot.”


once upon a time in the west


the future sits
on a fence
in Arizona

amongst the tumbleweed
of the desert

a silent type,
who doesn’t give
directions

which is the way
you like it.

you’ve read the TV guide,
so you know
what’s on
tonight

a couple of movies
you could watch.

but even though it’s raining
& the wind
is thumping
on the windows

you’d rather drive to the video shop,
so that on the way
you can be excited

by delicious choice

the hope
of something
better.


the coast


join-the-dot-buoys
trace the shoreline,
falling & rising
with the tide;
an easy gradient
of sand tones slide
from land to sea.

a kingfisher bursts
from the manuka,
leaving the greyish bush
swaying gently to rest.

there are pools of red
under the pohutukawa,
eerie shadows of lost flowers.

sand, salt-water & wind
have formed a dusty ring
around ankles.

the tips of the cabbage tree leaves
point the way,
blown by a sea breeze.


for Julian


we have no choice
but to name the stars
they're our favourite things.


outside


outside is Whangarei, Berlin, London & New York
outside is the cold
outside are stars in the night
outside is music
outside is pain
outside are people on their way
outside is your future lover
outside is The Warehouse
outside is China
outside are presidents, prime ministers & mayors
outside is a shallow harbour
outside is stupidity
outside is greed
outside is hunger
outside we fuck each other over & over
outside is sacrifice
outside is struggle
outside is home
outside are lonely places
outside is everyone, the ones we love & the ones we hate
outside are people working for nothing
outside are lawyers
outside are corporate bankers
outside fires burn
outside is the breeze
outside are daffodils, magnolia starting to bloom
outside are generals
outside are the guns
outside are a million corpses wrapped in plastic
outside are people who tell lies
outside there’s fear
outside is the Star Spangled Banner
outside is the past
outside is the future
outside there are answers
outside you have to know where to look
outside is too big
outside is all we have
outside is someone who says “stop”
outside are children running down aisles
outside are the swings
outside is the air we breath
outside hearts beat to the racing of being alive with no finishing line
outside is dust
outside trombones blow
outside the silence of our locked-up dreams bangs between our ears

inside is whatever you bring from outside
in with you

inside is the poetry.


Read at the Take Flight poetry evening at the Butter Factory Bar, Whangarei, 25 July 2009.
Also read by Sam Hunt on KiwiFM,
Outside is Fog, 7 August 2009.

at work


it’s just turned 12.01pm
& I’m thinking
that if I’m going to be
a writer
I should use every opportunity.
‘cause I don’t live on a family estate near Boston
or get regular payments from a trust,
& I’m not looking to make it
in the captain’s tower.
besides, I like
the factory poets
the boiler makers
the post office workers breaking their backs
in an iron chair
sorting mail every day for 10 years.
but they too knew
that writing is a horse you must
stay on.
you got to follow it
until it comes in.
so
even if this is not
a winning poem
it might be
that the one I write tomorrow
is, which is something you learn
eventually,
that work is an art:
the musician must play
the orator must speak
the teacher must teach
the leader of people must lead.
what I’m saying
is that
I’m going to write
again
tomorrow at 12.01pm
on the notepads they give us at work
with the pens they give us
to write.


Published in Side Stream 20, July 2009.

first time in Dunedin


sitting outside a café
on the corner of Albany
& Hyde Streets
in the warm April sun
wearing a black T-shirt.
the university across the road.
I look at the students
& imagine
the absence of things to come:
a juvenile again, starting anew
& believing it’s possible
to get it all
completely
right.


the explorers


we’ve discovered new places, you & I.
you, brave, with your love of adventure

& me, with a sometimes rational head
grasping the promise of your discoveries.

the south-west corner our latest, hidden
behind the pohutukawa tree. you wished

to pour water from your pink teapot
onto the post at the corner boundary.

I thought your blue pool would fit well
here—& I could move my chair, with

my book & pen. the familiar totara seen
from a different side; the view back

to the house half-blocked by wisteria
grown ragged. pohutukawa leaves dance

their shadows on the bottom of the pool.
their moving in the wind delights you

—it’s 2.30 in the afternoon, this place
would not have been found without you.


Published in Blackmail Press 24, Secrets.

after reading Sam Hunt’s poem ‘Better than this?’ (or why poetry is worthwhile)


lying on the couch
again, which isn’t comfortable
even with pillows. I get stuck here
sometimes, watching children’s television,
supervising the building
aaaaaaof Lego towers,
snatching moments of poetry, flashes
of life worthwhile
aaaaaaaaaaaaaa—like a train
going past the back fence
only 10 or so metres from the couch,
carrying logs from up North.
the train weighs through the room
aaaaaalike a deep conscience, unavoidable.

I remember the movie 1900
with DeNiro & Gérard Depardieu.
as a kid, the Depardieu character
lies down length-wise on the track
& a train goes over the top of him.
the other boy (who would grow up
to be played by DeNiro)
watches, afraid.
at the end of the movie, however
it’s the DeNiro character, now an old man
who lies across the track,
his neck & legs on the rails
as a train approaches.

I’m lying on a couch, 10 or so metres
from where trains go past,
yet each time it’s thrilling,
a worthwhile moment
aaaaaaaaaaaaaa—as it could be
for anyone in Kamo, Maungaturoto,
Wellsford or Helensville
who’s lying on a couch,
hanging out the washing,
yelling at the kids, or eating
a meat pie in the car
as a train passes.

& really, there’s no need
to lie on the track
unless you’re Depardieu
or DeNiro
& it’s the movies.


Published in The Lumiere Reader, 25 May 2009.

sunshine


& so the sun
beats the dullard

shambles
the door-stopped bricks

pushes down
on the collared neck

severs
in its intense weight

releasing the body soul
from mannered fashions

of constraint.


Published in Side Stream 18, February 2009.

time gone


cigarettes gather
in ash trays
in hotel rooms
with a lamp,
a couch
& a window,
where poets,
painters,
philosopher junkies
with wrinkled collar shirts
sit
in cane chairs
drinking morning coffee
& evening wine
stroking their notebooks,
watching
the dust & dirt
pushed
into corners—
as shadows deepen
& time rushes
stalls awake.


portrait of the artist as a parent of young children


I’m off
down the alleyway
between the fortress
& the museum

the kids
asleep in the car
windows open a crack
—it’s alright
I’ve left them the keys

I’ve got things to do:

1. visit an angry poet
aawho sells vitamins

2. see a psychiatrist who can teach me
aarhyme & meter

3. sit in a café
aa& wait for her

4. catch a train to an outer suburb
aain revolt

5. walk the streets with a harmonica
aain my pocket

no time—stuff the rest
of my lines in my mouth
run back to the kids

an ice-block for each of them
a loaf of bread, milk
& a cheap bottle
of merlot.


Published in Singray 1, Summer 2008.
Northland Arts paper produced by the Arts Promotion Trust


visiting Auckland


the city beckons, lays itself prone
across two harbours, a volcanic fuse.

all is apparent that will happen here,
history divined on the bus-stop timetable
on every main street.

they will come down arterial roads
to build it, to destroy it,
who will conquer it & love it.

blocked toilets & drains―
the overflowing we’ll celebrate!

& clean the stink from the billboards;
pasting our own proclaiming:
“this is for you, this is for me”

until we believe it.

―the thought steps down
& matures slowly

as I watch the beautiful Indian child
at the wheel of the blue boat
in Te Atatu Park,
in one hand an ice cream.


Published in Side Stream 15, August 2008.

magic fairy


lounge-stifled day
amongst honest debris
& puzzle
my 5-year old daughter tells me
that when she finds
her magic wand:

“I’ll turn you into a butterfly
so you can fly away.”

it was—wasn’t it?—
a beautiful thing to say
to someone, to give them
their butterfly freedom.

she never found
her magic wand.


records for 50c (let’s go to Soulcity)


The Manhattens
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasequins & boots

aaaait feels so good to be loved so bad

Johnny Johnson & His Bandwagon
aaaaaaasoul survivoraaaa gasoline ally bred

aaJimmy McGiff
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaastep one
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasolid state
Nina Simone aaabacklash blues
aaaaaaabitter humour
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavenging angel
why? (the king of love is dead)

aaBilly Preston aaaaamauve suit
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasteppin’ out
name in lights aaafill your head with sounds

do what you want aaaaAl Green
aaaaaaalivin’ for you

The Friends of Distinction

aaaaaaaaadrums, congas, flugelhorn,
aaaaaaaoboe & cello,
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaclarinet & harp

Solomon Burke aaayeah… you’re the one!

I wish I knew (how it would feel to be free)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalet’s go to Soulcity.


cowpat


it’s mid-afternoon
& the kids buzz
like flies
around a cowpat,

where the cowpat
is my brain,
which is as best
as I can describe
it,
the way they can distract
you
from everything
else.

a friend, now gone
once told me
having kids
was 80% hard work
& 20% pure
joy.

I’m a cowpat
sitting in the grass
with the sun on me

flies buzzing
all around.


Parisian backstreets are not here


Parisian backstreets are not here,
not behind the service station orange lights
or down the street which ends
with the blue cashflow machine.

young people drinking,
laughing at nothing, simply being.
Jean-Paul Sartre & Simone de Beauvoir
in the corner holding hands.

Sidney Bechet rests his clarinet
on the bar, watches the big screen.
Langston Hughes in the kitchen
doing dishes, sipping champagne.

I walk three times past the hotdog stand
looking for Parisian backstreets,
for glamorous dancers & artist’s wives,
for Edith Piaf.

the Parisian backstreets are not here
& it’s not enough to answer the question
from the man in the jacket
who looks like Camus.


murderers are coming


murderers are coming
there’s been an announcement
can it be true?
when are they due?

murderers are coming
should we drop everything?
stand back in awe?
wipe the floor?

murderers are coming
has there been an error?
should we tidy up?
ask for a donation in a cup?

murderers are coming
is there anything to eat?
should we offer them a drink?
what do you think?

murderers are coming
should we clean the streets?
they’re here to protect
who’s going to object?

murderers are coming
should we put on a show?
the kids are in bed
the carpet is red.

murderers are coming
should we change the sheets?
make it nice?
put the champagne on ice?

murderers are coming
is it time to speak?
should we make a toast?
enlist the Holy Ghost?

murderers are coming
how long have we got?
should we sign a deal?
ask them how it feels?

murderers are coming
what shall we call them?
our very good friends?
is this how it ends?


Published in UNITY Journal, October 2007.

something


sitting at the table
thinking about
something

you busy
getting something
done

when I caught your eye
& felt guilty
for something,

though I couldn’t
say what

I said too quickly,
without context:

“I’m lazy.”

to which you responded,
quickly also:

“no, more like
easily distracted.”

which had me thinking
as I got up
& walked away

that yes, that’s right,

“I’m not lazy,
I’m easily distracted.”

which was something
I could live with.


gutter neighbours


fuckin’ mynahs! they drive away
the smaller birds, unassuming
sparrows, who die under trees

mostly—except those who
crash into windows, & have
to be thrown over the fence

for William Carlos Williams.
the mynah birds, a major bother!
they make nests in the gutters.

I hate balancing on the ladder,
pulling out rotting leaves, sticks
& shredded pieces of paper.

they watch from the fence,
shitting all over it. they squawk
& make noises while we’re eating.

I tried to get rid of them once:
caught them in a bird-trap,
a simple lasso. I stuffed them

in a box, drove to Spirits Bay
& pitched them into the sea.
it wasn’t enough to make them

go away. we feed them bread
everyday. we’re all fucked up,
but we need each other

so they say.


reason enough


it’s easier
to romance a sun-filled day
than to tread through the thick mud
that hinders
aaaaaaaaaanalysis,
correct & true
for the
moment.

yes, it’s easier to do,
meandering
some words
together
into
short lines.

but
the capture
is fleeting,
a repositioned reason
will struggle again
—& must reclaim
in order
to make sense
&
persuade.

aaaaaaaaaaaa—still,
I do this now:

thinking of a lazy day
that produced
these
brief lazy lines
is reason
enough.


friday night


nothing to say
friends fray

an old jersey
thrown away

hit videos
from 1994 play

the party next door
moves outside,
into the way.

this light
is the only one left
to turn off,

the shadows
it throws are soft

they will
be cut-off.


where the bombs are aimed the silence is claimed


voices lie, eyes hide
what they’ve seen

death like a grey suit walks
feeling cool

*

sleep isn’t distinguished from awake
dreams plough down
into nightmares

homes gutted open
spilling onto the street

*

each bomb blazes
our imaginations all

turning our minds
to not turn away from yours.


Published in Workers Charter, 2006.

prison

for Ahmed Zoui

out here is not so cold
that you’d notice.
yet the chill can blow through
at night
or
during the day
when the draught
finds its way past those around you
who you’ve placed
in your defence.

not like the cold of
a prison cell,
with the stone & cement
rubbed smooth by warm bodies,
but there are walls
& guards
here too,
which we trust to avoid.

but freedom’s possible,
because I’ve seen it
in the eyes of some
& in the eyes of many
for a flickering
instant.



war memorial


the World War One memorial stood
for a few years after 1922
on the bridge across the stream
between the post office & the hotel.
three metres high & made of Oamaru stone.

what happened to it?
did it fall into the stream?
after the Dairy Company dam
burst in 1935? or was it a prank
that’s been forgotten?

names of men who went to war,
& the ones that died,
were engraved for an eternity.
did someone who returned
not want to remember?

they’ll dredge for the memorial,
& maybe it will be found
beneath the water weeds.
I’ll be laughing with the bastard
who knocked it over.


Published in Workers Charter, 2006.

a man in his seventies who makes picnic tables at home


these tables are better than anything
you’d get in the big stores.
aaaaaaaahe thinks they’re pieces of crap.

I’m not telling a lie, but every time
someone comes to look at my tables
before going to the shops in town,
they always come back.
aaaaaaaahe likes the company.

I don’t need to advertise,
just word of mouth.
aaaaaaaahe’s a great example.

I’m having a knee reconstruction
next week, my wrist’s buggered
& the doc’s just told me
I’ve got shingles.
aaaaaaaahe’ll be dead soon.

I used to make four a day,
but I’m down to twenty a month.
aaaaaaaahe’s got no regrets.

I sell them for not much more
than cost: it’s a hobby really.
aaaaaaaahe’s doing something with his life.


Lake Waro


there’s a lake
on the edge of town, past
the rubbish dump
where there are recycling bins
for three colours of glass.

today, it’s 30 degrees plus.
the lake is full of people, kids
jumping off rocks, pontoons,
each other. narrowly missing
rocks, pontoons, each other.

he wades in to one side,
pathetically dignified—
& he’s only 30 plus.
the bottomdrops out suddenly,
a fewstrokes & it’s deep, a few more
& the kids are left behind.

there’s a line where parents,
nervous brothers & sisters,
yell out: “far enough!”
“come closer in!”
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa—no one
yells for him, out here
in the middle of the lake, his head
suspended in the reflection
of the sky, with dragonflies
& swallows flying all around.


both sides of the road


new neighbours
have cut out the magnolia
& built a fence;
they’ve replaced the letter box
(it’s navy blue with gold lettering).

there’s been hammering at night.
everyone’s saying
how good it is to see them
“doing the place up.”

today, they cut
the big oak down.
it’d been raining for days,
the contractors came early.

we could see the tree
from our bedroom window:
sunlight came stuttering through
the branches in the evening

& next to the hill
it reminded me of a photo
in my grandparent’s spare room.

there’s more space now
for the sun, which no longer
glances off branch ends in winter
(or leaves in spring).


the island

for the workers at the LVL Plant at Marsden Point, Whangarei

the island
was a place to quickly pause,
if trodden on at all.

on the island
(that’s what they call it)
they get together:
a refuge, an ostracism, a defence,
an attack.

three caravans circled into place,
with a view of the gate.
cups, newspapers & chairs
scattered…

the island’s history is made.
over there the laughter, the complaints,
the arguments & the silences.

over there the broken ribs.

over there the footprints of police marching.

over there the sign that says
‘If the boss gets up your nose—picket.’

over there the voices of a few.

over there the voices of many.

they say they went out as workmates
& go back as whanau

from the island.


Published in Workers Charter, 2005.

4.15pm at the Hikurangi Hotel


pour me
another absinthe
& I’ll imagine
a Parisian café
at night,
because it’s warm
& the light
is good.
Hemmingway’s here,
so is Picasso,
who isn’t painting
landscapes,
but something
quite modern.


untitled


the white doves
now perch on our roof, & not
the house across the road.

which is good for showing,
but I miss being able
to watch them
from where I normally sit.


untitled


only two hours
from New York
if I was Jackson Pollock
living on Long Island.


a football game late in the season


tonight I’ve space clear,
front & behind.

roll away blue

sifting through words
dropped from bookcases:
piles of half-read passages.

loses control in the tackle

but nothing inspires
to imagine something—
a few pencilled notes
to rub away.

scrum to go down

time to save the day.
an angled run,
creating uncertainty
in the opposition
in the 78th minute.

nailed it!


waiting


she waits at the corner,
the house behind her
where the poplar trees
have been cut,
a row of stumps
like small volcanic cones.
she stands still,
feels the anger
lashed inside her.

she looks back
to the flag, draped large
on the wooden fence.
black & red,
with the white koru
meeting together
between
the darkness
&
the desire.

she remembers
the pushing, the sharp yells,
the clatter of battered skin & muscle;
the panic
pressed
in the eyes
of the pakeha suit—
dirt of generations thrown.

a muffled grunt
exits her lips.

in the distance she sees the van.
lights on full, because
of the heavy fog that sits
over Hikurangi.
she sighs
bends to pick up
the worn straps of her bag
which she holds straight
over one shoulder

& she waits.


Published in RED & GREEN 4, 2004

untitled


you know when you feel like you lack clarity,
when life’s happening
but isn’t examined
& if you bumped into Socrates
you’d want to punch his ugly face—
then it returns,
it’s dramatic,
maybe not Moses parting the sea,
& not something you’d make a film about,
but, like dialectics,
small things
can suddenly make a difference.
it could be when,
in the middle of winter,
the working week & the weather
deliver
a Saturday morning
that’s crisp sun on peaked roofs
walking to the shops for bread & paper.
or
when a book of socialist poetry
arrives in the mail,
which you ordered months ago:
Auden, Blake, Lawrence,
MacNeice, Mitchell, Rosen,
Shelley, Zephaniah
& co.


a utilitarian labour


they’ve pens in banks,
black usually
attached to tables
by strings

of metallic balls
sliding over wood veneer
as I write, because

when I needed to
I realised I had no pen
of my own,
2 hours from home.

so share with others

making deposits—
of what value?
I don’t know.

though I appreciate
you showing me
how pens could fly,

this pen is sunken
& limited
to utilitarian tasks.


3rd September, 2004


I stopped for a duck & her ducklings
trying to cross State Highway One.

she was standing straight & taut,
her head searching forward & behind

to the ducklings scattering to the grass
& back to three crumpled bundles

lying on the road—at that moment
the panic & purpose counterposed.

then, she stepped quickly to the grass,
where she stood, quite still, as I passed

slowly, thinking of my daughter who
loves ducks, loves to say their name.

& thinking of the children who died
in the Russian school, & the parents

who knew them; & thinking also
of leaders who'll speak grave eulogies

that will kill. I felt then the same
combination of panic & purpose.


Lou says


Lou walks past the Four Square
on his way to the hotel
where he’ll play
avant-garde theatre
for the men who work
on farms, who stare
into rear-vision mirrors
of utes parked on King Street.

& the noise he makes
will get them up
onto the red wool carpet—
too dark for today,
where the café set do not tread,
even to see Lou, who isn’t scared,
who does not flinch
at the fight
between two hired hands.

Lou says
he never plays covers,
only original songs
from the pallet factory
which used to be a dairy factory
& before that a coal mine.


sixty-six dollars for the Sanford workers in Timaru & Bluff


we quarrelled on the steps of our house,
me overbearing, softly spoken & sure.
I left thinking what for
but couldn’t turn the car around once more.

in town S was there early,
I was surprised, tongue-tied & vague.
we unloaded the signs:
aaaaaaaSupport Sanford Workers,
aaaaaaaSix Weeks—No Income,
aaaaaaaFreedom to Strike.
they were awkward, difficult to handle.
I strained, cursed & wondered.

ten dollars was pushed into my hand—
we had hardly finished setting up!
ten dollars for the Sanford workers
way down in Timaru & Bluff.
more followed,
from a journalist with the Northern Advocate,
from a woman who lost her house in a mortgage sale,
her husband had been locked out
by the owners of the Glenbrook steel mill.
I spoke to an old guy who went on strike
in support of the wharfies in ’51,
he was a freezing worker then.
history—warm, alive & unrepentant.

still, the best part of the day
was counting the money at home together,
both of us enthusiastic:
sixty-six dollars for the Sanford workers in Timaru & Bluff.


Published in the New Zealand Listener, October 20-26, 2001.

nothing St John's Wort could fix


why frequent these places?
looking for an entry into an outlaw's
bible of American poetry?

broken men, held together
by bonds of chauvinism,
ostracism, alcoholism & hypnotism
filling in time before the next race.

& me, skiving off work,
relationships & responsibility
to soak the ambience
of a beer-stained & smelling carpet.

we watch the movies
& recognise it ― laugh
if set in some foreign place.

watching from my padded perch,
angry at a system
that spits people out (the incalculable waste!),
I can see that it goes deep:
nothing St John's Wort could fix.


working blues


in Wellington
he was a baker's assistant,
starting at 5 o'clock in the morning.

he cycled down Mt Victoria
to work: a bakkerij
at the top end of Willis Street.

his boss
always made him finish late.
it was his fault
for not working faster.

he wouldn't finish until 2 or 3,
but he'd only get paid
for 8 hours work.

he rode home through town
& up the hill
in chequered baker's pants.


these old theatre seats


these old theatre seats
are rusty at the base,
the blue vinyl
has faded to grey,
they're not where
they used to be.
looking over
these Northland hills
to a wet sunset,
a sliver
of clear orange sky
beneath the heaviest
of dark clouds,
the sounds of children
talking nonsense
on the steps
of the almost derelict
house across the street,
I realise there is
nowhere else.
these old theatre seats
are comfortable
& a good place
to look out.


what are we doing?


I'm carrying one end of a glass panel through the streets.
I don't know who's carrying the other end,
or where we are going,
or why it's precious.
we dodge the people moving round―
they wouldn't want to bump the glass
& we don't want them to.
at a certain angle (though it's cloudy)
the light catches the policeman's eye.
he's young, he wouldn't like the music I buy,
but he thinks he knows me.
well, this is a small town, he probably does.
where can I run?
will my friend run with me?


aye Tane!


Tane Mahuta,
you've been here 2000 years, tell me!

I'm driving a logo―'the smart move'―
you can tell me.

what's that?
a gust of wind
ruffling your lower branches.

no one noticed the 'More Teachers Now!'
badge pinned to my jacket.
after 2000 years do you lose sight of details
or do you notice them more?

I was drinking at the Hokianga Hotel,
dolphins took me out into the ocean
until I could see the tips of your highest branches.

no one noticed you growing Tane,
but here you are―& the teachers
are taking wildcat strikes.


I want to sleep in a purple room


I want to sit in a wooden chair
I want to drink Vodka & lemonade
I want to talk while making dinner
I want to sing Dylan doing dishes
I want to discuss peppers & artichokes
I want to teach composition & line
I want to read without notes
I want to speak plain
I want to be understood
I want not to think about it
I want it to be the same for you
I want time to slide
I want to run & play
I want to walk to work
I want to learn guitar
I want someone to fix computers
I want to stay up late
I want to sleep in a purple room


a headache


Frida Kahlo painted her mangled back.
on that crooked spine
my own neck
lopped to one side,
head pounding
like a Japanese cartoon.

for some fresh air
I walk to the back of town,
over a steel grate
covering a torrent of rain
pouring down the lower slopes of the hill
to the Mississippi beyond
(though that may have been wishful).

down this drain
the guy in the Opportunity Shop
slid, in his wetsuit,
on his belly, after a few beers.
the drain was built
after a mudslide killed a family
who had lived
in the damp shade of the hill.

I turn & walk back to the centre of town,
flip through a New Idea,
spend 3 dollars on scratch & wins,
winning 4 dollars then losing more.


tired


hunched
like Stravinsky
playing a silhouette;
left for dead,
he'll wake at the end
to say goodbye
with honest words
& go to sleep
absurd.


how many have died?


how many have died
digging for pharaohs,
emperors & CEOs?

the sentence passed down
by independent international arbitrators
with floating bars, Marina Vista signs,
shoe shiners & personal trainers.

who are you?

I don’t believe you!


nice meeting you


eyes of circles, rimmed
with faint tears,
as you told us of Bougainville
& the struggle of your people.
copper exposed to air
by machinery not your own,
tarnishing your land.
but you (& we) are scrapping
at the lies told,
which was why we talked.
noticing more about you,
your face, it sheltered experience
I could only imagine,
& beautiful for certain.
I admit to dreaming of another life,
your strength (I couldn’t help it)
pulsed through me too.


Israeli soldier!


Israeli soldier!
what goes through your mind?
a child, wide-eyed with fear & anger,
crouched, running on the dusty streets,
past the ruined homes of friends,
bending to pick up a stone—
no, that one was too big,
another fits inside the palm.
you see this through your sights
& you aim for the head.


what else could I do?


there was no face
amongst the sanity
of your appraisal.

speaking directly to my cuffs,
tugging at my pleats,
with a nod to James Joyce
& his look,

I pleaded my case.


taking Burt Reynolds & Lonnie Anderson to the John Pilger exhibition at the Auckland Museum


how was the trip, Burt?
hi Lonnie.
nice day isn’t it?
you’ve sorted things out then.
must have been expensive, the divorce.
how much?
still, things are alright now aren’t they?
you were both misunderstood.
those Ken & Barbie jokes were cruel.
yeah, this way, follow me. I’ve been here before.
what do you think of the museum?
it’s a war memorial.
the columns out the front are the same as the Parthenon.
through here—watch your head on the waka…
Te Toki a Tapiri. magnificent isn’t it?
have you heard of John Pilger?
no? he’s a well know journalist…
you hate journalists? some of them can be…
you’d have to admit it looked suspect at the time, Burt.
yeah, I know you were innocent.
so what are you up to now Lonnie?
are they still showing repeats of the WKRP Cincinatti in the States?
here we are.
no you go ahead , I’ve seen it. I’ll meet you outside.

what did you think?
disturbing?
you didn’t know the US had been bombing Iraq for ten years?
I know the Vietnam War was a long time ago Lonnie, but it’s important
to remember these things.
did you go to Vietnam, Burt?
Gunsmoke was your big break then?
what? you’ve never got the recognition you deserved.
you shouldn’t get hung-up on awards, Burt.
what did you think of…
but he’s a different type of actor, you can’t compare.
oh, here’s your taxi.
no, I don’t want an autograph.
I just hope you got something from the exhibition.
it’s meant to be.
I thought it would help. you both looked really sad when I saw you
the other day. I know it can be a struggle to see things clearly…
you’re OK? OK then.
I’ll see you round. I probably won’t be heading your way again.
some things I want to do.
best of luck to you too.


a couplet (for the blues)


blues singers refused to be sold,
saying, ‘I may as well be bold’.


song for Hone Tuwhare etc


I missed writing for the new millennium
so for you, Hone Tuwhare, I thought I’d write now.
one of many who will dust fresh pages with words.
tonight, with compassion, humour & grace
you walked the stage of our polytech theatre
on your sentimental journey to the North.
they called you from Kaka Point, in the South
to the place of your birth:

aaaaaa‘Send back his stubby limbs!
aaaaaaSend back his bursting tinana fat with kutai,
aaaaaaKina, fish-heads, salt and words.
aaaaaaNgapuhi! Go and get our boy!’

while I share these Northland hills with you,
your presence alone was not enough to cloud these eyes.
what did, was seeing a man who lived life
full & vital, gentle & vulnerable,
who, at 79, read a poem for a socialist friend, a comrade.
the word, like many of the lines rolled
from your full crooked lips, was full of sincerity.
it still comes hard to me, as if others’ laughter
would burst unwanted from my mouth.
to see that fire burning, that home shared,
this is what I take from your journey north.
one day I hope to sing out ‘comrade’ to the tune
of a jazz standard (a favourite of yours)
& for people to hear it true & sing it back to me.


Thank you to Glen Colquhoun for the use of lines from his poem, 'An invitation for Hone Tuwhare to attend a poetry reading in Northland, or a Haka to Kaka Point', published in the New Zealand Listener, 2002.

a painting by Picasso (after the war)


two women running on a beach.
limbs floating amongst the clouds:
weighted skims off lightly dusted ground.

I didn’t know what to say
when you stood in front of me.
I was rehearsing a curtain,
projecting a voice across the room.

it wasn’t this way before,
when time was no constraint on friendship.

two women running on a beach.
I was reminded of a Mediterranean sun,
not the smoke of trenches.


memories of Prague


the pink protesters
took a different path.
a big fairy
out in front
waving a wand,
as you would wave away flies
or in this case
the police,
all in black, covering
their eyes.

oh the way they retreated
from your onslaught!
your singing
& dancing!
falling over themselves
like in an old movie.

it was the one
who slipped in the mud
who charged fastest
when the counter-attack was called,
despising your show
of freedom.


on the ramparts of hypothesis


strong on paper, cutting
over & through you
like a guillotine surfer.

shining, smiling, shifting
the logistics of crimes,
clear like pantomime.

putting steps forward
from behind the wall,
hands in shoes
left at the door.

weakness shows
on the ramparts of hypothesis,
unless strength is bound
like tied sticks into a log.